So you’re changing diaper number 11,875 and you think you toddler might just be ready to venture into the mysterious territory of potty training, more recently referred to as toilet learning. Done with care and very little seriousness, potty training can be a fun adventure with an outcome both you and your child can appreciate. There are many steps and levels to be considered before you begin, and potty training is an activity that must be done when well prepared.

Is Your Child Ready?

First of all, you must make sure your child is ready and that the reasons for beginning training are not in any way selfish. Is your child physically ready? Usually, before 20 months, the bladder empties too frequently for a child to master bladder control. If he or she stays dry for about two hours at a time on a regular basis and often wakes up from naps with a dry diaper, they’re probably physically ready.

Sometimes readiness is marked by an increased intolerance of wet and soiled diapers, and a lot of times, dirty hands and face. They usually want their diapers changed immediately after urinating or defecating. Occasionally there is a greater interest in the bathroom habits of parents and older siblings. Your child may sometimes want to follow family members into the bathroom to see what goes on in there when bigger people go potty. They may begin to imitate the things they see happening including unrolling toilet paper, flushing the toilet, and of course flushing down the toilet paper.

There should also be an increased awareness of bodily functions. Your child has signs that you have probably been seeing for a little while, at least. You know those special concentrating “looks” and the tell tale grunt-n-squat. If your child is an avid talker he may even begin announcing the particular event! Now it is imperative that you pay very close attention to those signs. When they become apparent, there is no time to spare when rushing to the potty chair.

Another readiness sign you may be fortunate enough to notice is regularity of wet and soiled diapers. In particular is the regularity of the bowel movements. If you know he is going to have a bowel movement first thing in the morning or after a particular meal, it will make toilet learning that much easier. However, some children may not ever be that regular.

If your child is able to do some minimal self-dressing, such as pulling down pants and shorts and lifting up a skirt, encourage them to do so while potty training. It will give then a little confidence boost when they are praised for it and will be helpful to you at the same time.

A couple of other things that are also helpful are if your child has interest in wearing “big kid” underwear and if they are familiar with the toilet terminology spoken in your household. If he or she has interest in wearing grown-up underwear or panties, this will, of course, add some motivation to make the toilet training work. If they know the toilet terminology and everyone is consistent in the words and phrases they use for potty talk, this will cut down on the confusion that the whole process can sometimes cause.

Prepare Your Child for Toilet Learning

There is much to do when you are getting ready to place your little one in the driver’s seat on the potty chair. Therefore you must always be sure to take great care to prepare your child for this life-altering weeks-long event. It can end up being very stressful for both teacher and student if proper measures aren’t taken beforehand.

First, try to play up the great things about growing up and going potty in their own big little potty chair (or seat). Many children can get real excited about the prospect of saying adios to those diapers and hello to new, fun underwear. Although some parents can get carried away and chastise a child for wanting to hang on to the diapers for a while. Make sure you’re not one of them. Always keep the diapers as a viable option so that the child feels like they are not just being jerked out of the comforts of babyhood and thrown into the cold adult world with just those thin cotton undies to protect them.

Take notice of all the other grown up things they do and be sure to praise them for doing such things. Praise them when toys are put away, dinner is eaten without too much ending up on the floor, and sharing toys with other children, etc.

There are also many tools available to the overwhelmed parents of pottiers-in-training. Dolls that drink and wet can be purchased to explain the impending process to a child. You can even take it another step and have the doll wet into the child’s new potty chair or, if your child is old enough, you can ask him or her to help teach the “baby” to potty in the potty chair. And, of course, there are the numerous books and videos that can be shared over a good snuggle. These mediums are also very helpful if you are having a hard time explaining to your toddler just what is about to happen to his comfy routine. Books are also very handy to have in the bathroom when you need something to keep that squirmy child on the potty chair. As with anything else, on the job training is sometimes the best way to learn something. So, if you’re comfortable with the idea, let your child accompany the same sex parent into the bathroom for a live demo.

Possibly the most important step in preparedness is to get to know that new little potty chair up close and personal. Take care and put effort into picking the right chair for your little guy or girl. For safety reasons, be sure it is sturdy and will not tip over with the weight of a child on it. Maybe you could give it as a present or let them help to pick it out so there is an element of fun and anticipation attached to the task. To make it even more fun, you could personalize it and make it his or her prize possession. Try some stickers or some paint pens to decorate with and write their name on it. Let your child carry it from room to room if desired. This will give them a stronger feeling of control over the potty situation. Let them sit on top if it while reading , playing games, or anything else they do seated

Some kids are more interested in stepping right up to the big toilet. In that case, a potty seat might be a better choice. If you’re not sure which way your child will go, most potty chairs come with a detachable potty seat, so you could use it whether he or she wants to use a chair or a seat. Again make sure the seat fits well on the big toilet so there are no falling accidents, and you should use a good stepping stool in combination with the seat so your child can easily get up and down from the big toilet.

The Dos…

Do watch them ever so closely for signals and respond accordingly. Switch from diapers to training pants and go bare bottom as often as possible. The urge to go can be felt more readily without the safety net that a diaper or training pants provide. This can be enjoyed outdoors in a private yard or indoors on an easily cleanable surface, and keep that potty chair close by for when those urges need to be acted on.

Do dress appropriately. Dress your potty students in easily removable clothing such as elastic waist bands, and set those onsies and anything else with a snap crotch aside for now. When the moment comes, you don’t want a second to be wasted on a snap or a zipper. It may be a while before the ability to “hold it” is fully developed.

Do try some tricks to get your child to go with the flow. You can get them something to sip on while they are on the chair, or try running some water. It’s an old trick, but it works! You may also try a little tickle to loosen up those potty muscles. And of course, be their cheering section and biggest fan. Toilet learning is such a tough road, so when there is a successful deposit, why not indulge your child in seeing mom or dad do a silly dance and sing a silly song?

Do motivate the best way you can. Some kids are sufficiently motivated by a simple show of praise. Others are fine with just knowing they are gaining control over any part of their adult-ruled lives. Some just need a good old-fashioned bribe. That’s alright, but be sure to keep it simple. You could put a sticker chart up on the wall in close proximity to the potty chair. Then for every success, they get to place a sticker on the chart.

Do be as consistent as you possibly can throughout the entire process. Educate other family members and caregivers of your training methods and make sure they know the importance of consistency. Do teach proper hygiene.

Do be patient with accidents. As you already know, toddlers are busy creatures and can sometimes forget to act on their bodies urges.

…and the Don’ts

Don’t ever punish your child for potty failure. Self-esteem is crucial to the process and if you complain about accidents, there will be fewer attempts to succeed for fear of letting you down and upsetting you. Don’t ever, ever give laxatives, enemas or any other form of artificial stimulant to ease your own frustrations if your child decides to hold it in because he isn’t sure about defecating in the new potty chair. These kinds of things aren’t even recommended without a doctor’s supervision and your child learns nothing about impulse control, not to mention it could be harmful to your child.

Don’t nag. Is there really any situation where nagging is beneficial? The easy-going attitude is the best one to have while potty training, Just the occasional mention of the potty chair and what it’s there for will do after the you feel the concept is somewhat established. When you are going to the restroom you could invite them along.

Don’t expect too much right away. On average a child takes several weeks to be fully trained. However there are always exceptions. Your child may not take as long or could even take longer.

Don’t make toilet learning a moral issue. There is no good or bad in toilet learning, only ready and not ready. Whether he or she goes potty in the chair or has an accident, comment on the act, not the child. If there are accidents, and there will be, the less that is said, the better for your child.

Always remember throughout the process to keep a positive attitude and a forgiving nature. After all, it’s not the end of the world if you have to change 20 more diapers or training pants (11,975) in order to build a life free from the changing table!