Introduction

It never fails. You are about to take your child on a short car trip. You have finally managed to secure your child properly in a safety seat. Since you will be unavailable to comfort your little one, you provide them with their favorite comfort item: a pacifier. Just after you turn onto a major highway, it happens: the pacifier falls out and your child begins to cry as if the world is coming to an end because he cannot reach his most prized possession. As you wait what seems like hours to arrive at the next exit, it occurs to you that it might be a good idea to break your child’s addiction to the pacifier. At the same time, you recognize that it might be easier to climb Mount Everest without oxygen than to break the bond between your child and her favorite security blanket. With a little patience and a basic game-plan, however, you can wean your child off of a pacifier while preserving your sanity.

When is it Time to start Weaning my Child off the Pacifier?

Most parents know that children like pacifiers because they enjoy sucking. Babies feed by sucking, and they explore the world with their mouths. A pacifier, then, is the next-best thing in your child’s mind to a breast or bottle. Between the age of four and six months, most children undergo an important transformation. Their muscles get stronger, they begin to sit up, and they gain the ability to grasp and hold onto things. This is normally the time when parents begin to gradually introduce solid food into their child’s diet. It is also a good time to lay the groundwork necessary to eventually phase out the pacifier. By the age of 12 months, many children are effectively weaned from breast milk or formula (although all children are different). By this point, it is time to put your plan of action into high gear.

What to do and When to do it

From birth to six months

Try to use several different colors and shapes of pacifiers to comfort your child. In addition to the fact that pacifiers provide your infant with something to suck on, they are also one of your child’s most familiar toys. If you change pacifiers several times a day, the toy will become less familiar. In this fashion, it may well be easier to wean your child off of the pacifier when the time comes.

When your child is about six months old (or whenever your child can grasp items and eat small amounts of solid food)

At this stage in development, it is common for children to remove their pacifiers so that they can look at them or bang them around like any other toy. The pacifier looses a bit of its status at this point because there are other things to play with. Be on the lookout. If your child drops his or her pacifier, replace it quickly with another small toy. Keep rotating different toys into your replacement cycle. At first, your child will be upset when the pacifier falls out. However, they will learn over time to bond with some of the other toys that they get when the pacifier falls out. Patience is the key. Try to rotate in several toys before you cave in and give the pacifier back.

By six months, the only time when the pacifier will have an advantage over other toys is at nap or bedtime. It is probably unwise to try to take the previous pacifier away when your child goes to sleep. However, make sure that you do not put the pacifier back in if it falls out during a nap. Your child will sleep better anyway if she can learn to find and replace the pacifier on her own.

When your child is about one year old

At this point, solid food is a major portion of your toddler’s diet. Sippy cups begin to replace bottles, and milk replaces formula or breast milk. Sucking beings to lose some of its appeal. Teeth are also coming in at a faster pace, though this varies from child to child. This is a great time to being replacing the pacifier with another toy at naptime. For example, pacifiers provide little comfort for a teething child unless the child stops sucking on the pacifier and starts chewing on it. Since the teething process is difficult for child and parent alike, you might as well use teething to your advantage. When your child is awake, give them something to chew on (anything from a teething ring to a frozen waffle will work). When it is naptime, replace the pacifier with some sort of swallow-proof toy that your child can still gnaw at (my wife and I used a key ring with several teething toys on it). Make sure that you wait until your child is strong enough to remove items that might cover their mouth before you try this step.

Since your child is focusing on so many new and wonderful things at this point, it is a great time for them to “forget” that they have a pacifier. Do not leave a single pacifier in plain sight. If your child still wants one, try to rotate in another toy. If all else fails, give the child a pacifier. However, the minute it comes out of their mouth, it should be returned to the hidden location. Before long, your child will begin to forget that there are pacifiers around in the first place. On car trips, when your child is locked into a safety seat, provide him with toys that are within reach. Once again, it is important to remain patient. It is often easier to give in than to hear your child cry. Keep in mind, however, that pacifiers are as much for parents as they are for children. If you can learn to cope with some crying, it will help your child become pacifier free much earlier.

When you child is between sixteen and eighteen months old

Many parents only begin to wean their children from the pacifier at this point. However, if you have followed the previous plan of action, you are way ahead of the game. By this point there are hundreds of potential toys that could replace the pacifier as your toddler’s must have item. Most of these items are also much better for your child’s developing mouth and teeth. If you have been practicing toy rotation, your child should have locked onto a favorite toy by now. In addition, your child probably also has a favorite blanket. Use the favorite toy and the favorite blanket in tandem to break the pacifier habit once and for all. During the day, continue to keep the pacifiers hidden. In fact, it might not be a bad idea to throw them out (they are inexpensive enough to replace if you must). If your child communicates to you that she wants a pacifier, give her the favorite toy instead. If that does not work, use the blanket. At first, your child will probably react by throwing the blanket or toy right back at you. Since you have been rotating both pacifiers and toys for several months now, however, it should not be long before your child gets used to the idea that there is more to the world than sucking on things.

Naptime and nighttime may remain more of a challenge. However, by sixteen months, your child is developing some impressive communication skills. Though children talk at different ages, there is much more to communication than talking. Use this to your advantage by setting up a ritual where your child picks out a favorite blanket and/or stuffed animal to take to bed. You can convey to your child by this age that a pacifier counts as a bedtime item. If you have been effectively rotating pacifiers, your child will quickly begin to choose the treasured toy over the pacifier. Once that happens, that battle is usually over and you have won.

Eliminating the Pacifier is a Cumulative Process

It should be clear after reading the proceeding plan of action that there are many steps involved in eliminating the pacifier. You can start the process whenever you want. However, you should not try to skip steps (unless you begin weaning at a very late age). With this in mind, it makes a lot of sense to start the process early. Using these steps, my daughter was pacifier free at thirteen months. At the same time, it is important to recognize that all children are different. It is probably better to let your child have the pacifier for a bit longer if your instincts tell you that they need it. However, if you follow a plan of action with patience and determination, you can wean your child off of the pacifier more quickly than you might think.