Ah, I remember those days, prior to medication… Nary a day went by when I didn’t want to do nothing – despite the double negative – except stare blankly at the dusty ceiling overhead as I lay on my queen-sized mattress with my blankets and teddy bear. Or stare at the back of my eyelids... It’s not that I wanted to die – suicide was never a consideration. It’s just that I wanted to do as much of the opposite of living as I could, or cut off the part of my soul that was killing me slowly.

In an ideal world, your doctor or your mom would warn you ahead of time, tell you to hold on, because next week or the week after you are going to experience a thing known as depression. “So, darling, batten down the hatches and have some crossword puzzles handy because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” But, one day, you are normal, whatever that is…and the next you are not, without any forewarning. It’s as if some evil genie mysteriously casts a spell on you. And when you’re depressed or apathetic, or whatever you want to call it, normal is a difficult concept to recall. You don’t have the insight to define it or imagine it, even though you’ve experienced it in the past.

It goes something like this: you feel your will sliding down in your mind, slipping away while you are dusting the mantle in your robe and slippers. Every ambition you might have had that day gets translated into a certain kind of tiredness, and all of a sudden you just want to lie down because everything is just too heavy. The dishes remain on the counter, your homework remains a blank piece of paper, and the dogs just look at you waiting for their pets. But, no matter how hard you try, for anyone’s sake, you simply cannot do it. The normal optimism from your soul drains away and you are left with Apathy for a petting companion.

And the worst part about being depressed is that you know you were once normal. You had goals. You exercised. You made friends and went to tea parties or sold Avon. What happened to you? Do other people feel this way regularly? How does anyone get anything done – those men and women who have children, work full-time, go to school, and keep the house spotless? You might start to think that you’re just lazy and immature, and that you are making excuses not to do your chores.

When it lasts for several weeks to several months, you think that maybe you’re just getting old or you have some kind of disease, like Lyme disease, chronic fatigue, or mono. The doctor tests you and comes to the conclusion that it’s time for anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication. After many more tests and possibly years of denial, you decide that he might be right. So, you get the script and you take your first pill. Now, it’s time to wait for the stuff to slink through your blood – twenty to forty days of waiting.

What do you do in the meantime?

Don’t Sleep More Than Usual

From my personal experience, I will attest to the fact that sleeping can be your greatest enemy. Depression is not necessarily fatigue. Get that out of your head. Depression is apathy and sadness, either due to a chemical malfunction or a life situation. Sleeping a consistent eight-hour nightly shift is good, but spending whole days in bed is bad. This is true on three different fronts. First, your blood needs to move around. When you are lying in bed, your heart rate slows, and your blood pressure slows. Your temperature drops and your digestive system backs up. All of this lack of activity keeps your body in a state of chemical depression. Also, you lose any form of necessary stimulation to keep your mind engaged. While sleeping, you could lose touch with reality as well. And finally, lying around is not something to be proud of. Your self-esteem and confidence, already on a downward spiral, will be more out of control if you look back over your days and see no form of accomplishment or improvement or effort to take pride in.

This isn’t to say that the body doesn’t require rest on occasion, in addition to normal sleeping hours. In fact, Americans tend to be over-productive and have difficulty taking time out for themselves. They are frightened by a lack of productivity or of negative emotions. Though, in a state of depression it’s difficult to make good judgment calls, try to think cognitively about yourself and which category you might fall into, and then do your best.

Granted, it’s not always going to be easy, and you will have many days when it simply doesn’t happen, but trying is always better than not trying when it comes to chronic depression. Remember, your goal is to fight the depression, not give in to it.

Benchmarking

Okay, so I understand that you don’t want to do the dishes. Who really does? But, what about that book you were reading last week? You know, the one that’s earmarked on page 152? Or what about that movie you were going to see – the one about the girl who meets this older man and they disappear to a remote island paradise? And, I thought it was always fun to get your toenails done, regardless of the weather forecast. Whatever happened to all those activities that seemed like so much fun the moment you conceived of them?

This is where a tool known as Benchmarking can come in handy, a tool to help keep your mind from falling asleep. What you do is get out a piece of paper and write down all of the activities that you used to enjoy – anything that comes to mind, from getting showered and dressed to watching Seinfeld re-runs. It’s better to start with small, easy activities – nothing mentally challenging or overwhelming. Keep that list on your refrigerator, and whenever an activity comes to mind, add it to the list.

On any given day, pick one of these activities and do it. If you have to organize a plan of action in order to brush your teeth, then do it. Write down every silly little step, and do one step at a time. In a notebook or journal that you keep near your bed or in an easily accessible location, write down the activity that you just did. There’s one accomplishment for the day. Kudos to you.

Your goal is to do as many of those activities everyday as you can. It’s not so much to have a proven track record of what an upstanding individual you are, as it is to stimulate your already weakened mental state and keep you from falling into that abysmal pit of self-loathing. After a while, you will have a benchmark of activity that you can try to maintain. Sometimes these fun activities will feel like chores, but remember, you are trying to combat the depression, not give into it.

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise

What energy? Okay, so maybe you don’t have any, but as they say, “Energy begets energy.” Sometimes you have to make it yourself – like when a plant makes food from daylight. Basically, what I’m saying is that exercise gets your endorphins flowing, and endorphins are a natural anti-depressant. So, as much as you’d like to flip over, turn the fan on, and fall asleep with the wind in your face, don’t. Go for a walk – in the sunshine, in the rain, I don’t care. But, get your blood flowing, and get those chemicals moving. You’re alive, for goodness’s sake.

Any form of movement will do. If you don’t want to go outside, then walk in place or roll around on the floor, or squirm, or do yoga, even if you really don’t know how. Never forget: you are trying to combat the depression, not give into it.

Water

There is something very refreshing about the elements of the earth. I would advocate digging in the dirt, sitting by a campfire, looking at the sky, and breathing deeply, all as ways to help you out of your slump. But, my favorite natural element is water. It seems that no matter how bad I feel, water always cures me, momentarily at least. It can touch your entire body, with a cold, cool, lukewarm, or hot sensation – whatever you desire. So, get in touch with your liquid side; take a bath, go swim in a lake or a pool, take a hot, refreshing shower, sit in a hot tub, or run through a sprinkler. And if it’s raining, then by all means, stand out there and stick your tongue out, letting the drips of H20 spatter all over it.

People

I remember how difficult it was to be around people when I was under that magic spell. I felt judged, alone, ugly, and useless, regardless of how loved I was or how many people were surrounding me. So, instead of deal with those feelings, I cut off my ties one by one, stopped going to parties, stopped playing volleyball, stopped going to church, and went to bed. No one could find me there. No one could tell me how fat I had become or how ugly my clothes were, and they certainly couldn’t judge my newfound laziness. I was alone.

But, here’s the caveat…we need people. Losing touch with others is just another way of losing touch with reality. It’s another way of losing touch with mental stimulation. If you don’t like to be around people for the sake of being around them, then be around them for the sake of curing your depression.

Going to parties gets you into others’ homes. Going to picnics gets you outside. It helps you to be around children, who are excellent at breaking the bondage of negative thinking. People may be mean or insensitive or ignorant when it comes to depression, but they can also be kind, understanding and generous. Hang around with people who don’t enable you or bring you down. Let them inspire you. Let them take you away from that bed or couch. Remember, you are trying to combat the depression, not give into it.

Music

Sensory stimulation is a great motivator. Looking at scintillating artwork, getting a deep tissue massage, tasting delectable Mediterranean cuisine or surrounding yourself in aromatherapy - can all have an awesome effect on your mood. But, music has a way of really altering your brain waves. Music comes in every different mood or style you can imagine. Just pop in a classical CD and you’re transported to an elegant universe where life is serene and rich. On the other hand, listening to Metallica might help you to vent any anger that’s bottled up. But, stay away from gloomy and disheartening music or music that is too cerebral. Your best bet is to keep it light and airy, even if it reminds you of bubble gum.

Keep the House Clean

Another difficult task for the depressed person is maintaining a clean environment. It isn’t uncommon for someone to shut off completely, while their garbage pail overflows with empty dog food packets and cereal boxes, the bathroom toilet gets that nasty ring around the water line which evolves into algae, or the dust kitties turn into howling woolly mammoths. A messy house can really drive your self-esteem into the gutter, faster than many of the other contributors. Remember that list of activities that you posted on your fridge? Well, you can create another list for keeping the house clean, once you’ve acquired enough gumption to do it. Every day, do one thing on that list from start to finish…or just from start, for that matter. Put some music on, really loud, as you dance around in your underwear, mopping the kitchen floor. It is always better to try than not to try. Remember, the goal is to combat depression, not give in to it.

Religion

And finally, it’s better to believe in something than to believe in nothing at all. For those people who are convinced that there is no God, why? Consider the possibility that your life could be positively altered forever. Imagine what it would be like if Someone greater than yourself – beyond all of your five senses – actually created this place, decorated it with dandelions and lily pads, and breathed life into you.

During prayer, you are giving God all of your worries and all of your pain and asking Him to deal with it. What could be better than that? Your depression could stem from a lack of belief in a greater power. This is something that you could easily work through if you are willing to face it head on. Get out your bible, or whatever you use, and ask those questions you’ve always wanted to ask someone. Find the answers. Talk to a pastor or priest. Read spiritual books, or teaching guides. Go to church and get to know other like-minded people.

Or learn how to meditate and release the worries from your mind. You might also want to learn creative visualization to help you stimulate your senses. There are plenty of books on each of these subjects, well worth reading.

But I’m not on Medication…

If you are not on medication, and weren’t even sure whether you are depressed until reading the description at the beginning of this article, but you completely relate, then please talk to your doctor. Medication may not be for everyone (and yes, I do think we’re all over-medicated these days), but it may be right for you. You do not have to suffer. There are so many different kinds if medication out there that something will work, even if you have to turn yourself into a lab rat trying to discover which kind you need. Do your homework, and don’t let the depression talk you into thinking that medication doesn’t work. Depression has a funny way of making everything seem like a bad idea.

And remember, the goal is to combat depression, not give in to it. This is like a project, and you’re going to complete it. Now, smile.