Caregiving takes on many forms. From the parent caring for a dependent adult child to the child caring for an aging parent. Each situation is unique and challenging in its own way. Caregiving, while rewarding, can also be emotionally and physically draining on the caregiver. Having a network of support from other caregivers helps you realize that you are not alone, and gives you a much needed emotional respite from difficult situations.

For many, caregiving takes precedence in their lives over careers and attention to other family members. It may mean giving up a job, or accepting a different position, or possibly moving across the country to care for a loved one. Most recently, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Conner made the decision to step down from the bench due to health concerns for a loved one. Choices like that are tough, yet they are being made every day across our country.

Caregivers particularly need emotional support to help them deal with their everyday challenges. Support helps them realize they are not crazy, and that others often feel the same frustration they do. In order to be an effective caregiver, the caregiver themselves need to make sure their own needs are met.

In today’s society, there are support groups for victims of divorce, violent crime, diseases, etc. Supports groups can be essential in the life of a caregiver. Whether they decide to participate in a group within their community or an online group, the key is to find emotional support somewhere. Usually support groups are run by churches, hospitals, or civic organizations.

Advantages of a Support Group

• Understanding from people in a similar situation
• Advice on the changes you may face as the years go by
• A place to make new friends
• A non-judgmental atmosphere
• Learning the best way to deal with the situations you face and your emotions
• Reassurance that you are not alone

Aspects of a Support Group

• A comfortable atmosphere
• Caring participants
• Promise of confidentiality between members
• Empathetic facilitator

Which type of support group is right for you?

Condition-Specific Groups. These groups may be organized within a hospital structure, or by an organization to focus on a particular disease or disability. They offer access to pertinent information on the condition as well as support.

Caregiver Groups. These groups focus on the caregiver, thus enabling them to openly discuss their concerns and challenges. These groups are especially valuable for those who feel a strong need for social and emotional support.

Relationship-Oriented Groups. These groups focus on the day-to-day interactions between the caregiver and the disabled/infirm person. The group’s sharing of their own experiences helps bring together valuable conversation and support.

Family-Centered Groups. These groups are more like a therapy group. They help to strengthen the family in coping with the illness or disability of one of its members.

Advocacy Groups. These groups provide a healthy outlet for stress and frustration. They focus on getting the word out about the illness/disability to the media or political venues.

Online Groups. These groups are particularly good for those who are unable to travel to a local support group. Interactions with others in similar situations can be just what a caregiver needs who is feeling isolated and alone. While local support groups within the community are preferable, online groups offer a viable alternative.

Defining Your Own Normalcy

Caregiving can take many forms, depending on the level of care needed. Just as you feel things are becoming “normal,” something happens, jolting you into a whole new level. During each stage, a caregiver must define their own idea of normalcy. It is the pattern of living day-to-day with whatever situation arises. Once your own normalcy is established, gradual change can be incorporated. However, if a catastrophe arises, normalcy may again need to be defined. This roller coaster ride may wreak havoc with our emotional and physical states. In order to create our own normalcy, we have to roll with the punches, if you will. Anger and frustration, once its course is run, should ultimately lead to positive action.

Today’s Caregivers

In the United States, approximately 25% of the adult population are caregivers. Half of this group are caring for spouses. Caregiving, while drawing families closer together, can also weigh heavily emotionally upon the caregiver. It is essential that she find ways of dealing with frustration, stress, and weariness. Some of the caregiver’s everyday activities may need to be modified or eliminated. As a caregiver, be sure you do not overextend yourself. Its okay to say “no.” While you may want to be a part of different groups and activities, as a caregiver, you’ll need to pick and choose carefully what you can participate in. Your time is not strictly your own anymore. Another person is depending on you.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Many of today’s caregivers shoulder the burden alone. In fact most of them do not seek outside help. As a caregiver, you aren’t expected to do it all. It’s okay to ask for outside help when you need it. If not, you may find yourself burning out. Enlist the help of other family members and friends. Or, if necessary, hire some assistance. There is no need for guilt when seeking help. In order to be an effective caregiver, and keep your own sanity, you need to do what’s best for you as well as your aging or infirm loved one.

Stress Management Activities

Weather permitting; try to walk outside for 10-20 minutes several times a week. The change in scenery will do you good and the physical exercise will lower your stress levels. Also, exercises that emphasize inner balance and relaxation, such as yoga, are great stress relievers.

Good Nutrition Helps!

As a caregiver on the go, you may find yourself skipping meals or eating lots of fast food. While fast food, caffeine, and sugary foods may quickly perk you up, they’ll also produce a let down. Try to eat as many fresh fruits and vegetables as you can, including nuts and whole grains. Also, be sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day. You’ll find yourself feeling better physically than when you fill up on junk foods.

Take A Break!

From time to time, arrange for someone you trust to come in and relieve you of your caregiving responsibilities. Take a day or an afternoon and pamper yourself. Or let someone else do it! Find a relaxing spa or a nice quiet park, whatever suits your fancy, and indulge yourself. From time to time, if possible, take a week and travel to your favorite vacation spot. Most of all, remember this is your time. Your loved one is with a trusted family member or associate, so enjoy yourself guilt-free, and remember, you’ll be a better caregiver for having taken the time to recoup.

In Conclusion…

While caregiving can be stressful, you’ll find you are a better caregiver if you take time to take care of yourself. Be sure to meet your own physical, mental, and emotional needs. Truth is, your loved one will be in better hands if you are healthy and well-rested. Find ways to relieve your stress, network with other caregivers in your area or online, and take care of you. Not only will you benefit, but so will your loved one.

External Links:

• National Family Caregivers Association - Excellent reference for caregivers
• Family Caregiver Alliance - Information for caregivers