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Wedding Etiquette: The Basics 
 
by Rita Templeton July 21, 2005

There are so many do's and don'ts of marriage ceremonies that following the proper wedding protocol can seem as difficult as finding a bride or groom! Here, the answers to a few nagging nuptial questions.

If you’ve ever helped to plan a wedding – whether your own or someone else’s – you know that it can be a daunting task.  There are so many things to organize, arrange, schedule, and calculate.  Every last detail is crucial, or you risk ruining what is supposed to be a blissful and perfect day.  The stress of planning can be overwhelming, so the last thing you need to do is step on someone’s toes – and I don’t mean while dancing at the reception.  We’re talking about etiquette here: how to avoid hurt feelings, jilted loved ones, and any situation involving the word “tacky.”  Whether you’re the bride-to-be, the prospective groom, or any member of the wedding party, you’re about to find out the answers to some of the most commonly asked wedding etiquette questions.

Who pays for what?

You’ve spent nearly your whole life envisioning your dream wedding, and now the date is set: you’re finally going to walk down the aisle.  But the situation could get sticky when you’re figuring out who foots the bill for your fantasy.  Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for the majority of the wedding (which was great news for families with all sons), but there’s nothing wrong with breaking tradition!  It’s increasingly common these days for the groom’s family – and even the bride and groom themselves – to shoulder a substantial amount of the financial burden.  There’s no set-in-stone rule about who pays for what (obviously, it depends on the person’s financial situation), but if you need a general guide, here’s the breakdown:

The bride’s family pays for …

  • Wedding gown, veil, and accessories
  • Bridesmaids’ bouquets
  • Grandmothers’ corsages
  • Ceremony and reception flowers
  • Carpets, candelabras, trellises, and other decorations
  • Any rented items for the wedding or reception
  • Invitations and announcements
  • Napkins and other personalized items
  • Wedding programs
  • Church fee
  • Musicians and/or soloists
  • Church cleanup crew
  • Reception hall rental and fees
  • Catering and other professional services
  • Photography/videography
  • Orchestra, band, or DJ
  • Wedding cake
  • Wedding favors
  • Rice or birdseed bags, or bubbles or doves or whatever people plan to throw/release/blow at you
  • Father of the bride’s formal wear

The bride herself pays for …

  • Wedding ring for the groom
  • Wedding gift for the groom
  • Bridesmaids’ gifts
  • Bridesmaids’ luncheon
  • Accommodations for out-of-town guests

The groom’s family pays for …

  • The groom’s cake
  • The rehearsal dinner
  • Father of the groom’s formal wear

The groom himself pays for …

  • Wedding ring for the bride
  • Wedding gift for the bride
  • Groomsmen and ushers’ gifts
  • The bride’s bouquet
  • Mothers’ corsages
  • Groom’s, groomsmen’s, and ushers’ boutonnieres
  • The marriage license
  • Clergy fee
  • Gloves, ties, and ascots for attendants
  • Honeymoon arrangements

As far as the clothing worn by the groomsmen and bridesmaids, they are responsible for buying their own.

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